Self-assessment: how well is your life working?

This is not a quantitative process; there are no points to add up to see how well you have done. Rather, where you’ve ticked a box, you can consider whether or not this as a potential pointer to important issues which you can then deal with. This will be part of a book, 'Practical Happiness'

Would you describe yourself generally as:

 an optimist?

 a pessimist?

 neither?

 a realist?

 sometimes one, sometimes the other?

 someone who doesn’t think about that question very much ?

 

Do you feel that your state of happiness or unhappiness is something which:

 you’re born with, and there isn’t much you can do about it?

 you can make a little bit better, but only in small ways?

 you can change in profound ways, provided you’re prepared to make an effort and do what it take?

 you’re not too bothered about?

 

Are you aware of having any received or learned ideas or inherited beliefs about happiness, eg from family, community, teachers or culture, such as:

happiness is bestowed or withheld; it’s out of my control

 I don’t deserve to be happy

 I do deserve to be happy; it’s my right

 happiness is an illusion

 the human condition is basically a state of suffering

 someone else can make me happy

 everyone can be happy

 if someone is happy then someone else will be unhappy because there isn’t enough to go round

 it’s so unfair that I’m unhappy!

 I don’t want to be happy-clappy, those people make me sick! (and if one more person tells me to have a nice day I won’t be responsible for my actions)

 

Do you feel that there are certain conditions that will need to be met before you can be happy? Do you think that you can only be happy when:

 a particular problem in your life is solved or removed?

 you have made some improvements in yourself?

 you have met and fallen in love with the right person?

 you have enough money?

 you are doing a different job or work?

 you have more spare time?

 more time has passed (this week, this year, an unknown period)?

 you’ve retired?

 

Do you:

 spend much time wishing you were different from how you are, in ways that you can’t do much about, such as look, body image, age etc?

 wish you were different at times, but generally get on and try to make the best of things?

 generally feel content about how you are?

 

When things seem to be going badly for you, do you generally:

 feel that there’s nothing you can do about it?

 experience negative emotions which may be disproportionate to the scale of the problem?

 think about what you can do to improve the situation, but not necessarily follow through?

 take action to change things?

 regard it as an opportunity to learn something, sort something that needs sorting, experience personal growth, or even gain unexpected benefit?

 

Do you feel that you are:

 wandering through life without any general sense of direction or unsure of where you’re going?

 taking things as they come, in an easygoing way that works for you?

 aware of an overall sense of direction, or set of criteria with which to make decisions

 holding a vision or dream of where you’re going in the overall shape of your life?

 

Do you have a sense that, overall, your life is:

 stuck or stagnating?

 growing, evolving, expanding?

 shrinking or becoming more constained?

 spinning out of control?

 

What holds meaning for you in life? What gets you up in the morning? eg:

 wish for success?

 values that you hold?

 sense of purpose or mission?

 helping others make a success of their lives?

 making the world a better place?

 not very much?

 other: add here:

 

In terms of getting your life the way you’d prefer it to be, do you find yourself mainly:

 identifying priorities and taking steps to make change?

 spending most of the time fire-fighting or just about maintaining a status quo?

 always trying to ‘catch up’ with your own life and all the things you have to think about, and never quite succeeding?

 being aware of problems but ignoring them?

 not bothering about it very much at all?

 

Do you feel that you are:

 achieving success in most of what you do?

 sometimes achieving success?

 generally failing at most things?

 not sure what it is that you want to achieve in the first place?

 not bothered about success?

 

In taking action to improve your situation, complete a task or achieve an objective, do you usually:

 give up easily when problems crop up?

 persist until you have overcome any obstacles along the way?

 when appropriate, re-evaluate and consider whether the objective should be altered, then carry on?

 

When dealing with a challenge that seems impossible to deal with, do you generally:

 ask for help from others?

 struggle along on your own, refusing to seek or accept assistance?

 learn or get support from a teacher, mentor or organisation?

 

Do you notice that you are:

 criticising yourself often?

 often feeling you could do rather better?

 totally uncritical of yourself?

 being self-critical on occasion, and then doing something about it?

 

Do you often notice that you’re comparing yourself with others? If so, is it most often:

 favourably?

 unfavourably?

 sometimes one, sometimes the other?

 

Do you often feel:

 connected with yourself and your emotions

 disconnected from a clear sense of self and who you are?

 often affected by emotion or confusion which seems to take you over?

 

Do you feel that you are:

 often stressed?

 stressed to a degree that may be making you ill?

 stressed from time to time?

 generally free from stress effects?

 

Do you consider yourself:

 a strong perfectionist?

 a person who isn’t too bothered about standards?

 somewhere in the middle?

 

Do you feel that:

 time seems to rush by too fast - another year seems to have gone in the blinking of an eye, and not enough has been achieved

 time seems to drag by real slow - you spend considerable time feeling bored, filling time, or waiting for something that is in the future?

 you’re dwelling a lot upon things that have happened in the past

 you spend a lot of time thinking about things that are in the future

 you don’t think about this a lot ; you spend much of the time being in the present moment

 

Do you find yourself complaining about stuff, in your own mind or to other people:

 quite often

 never

 all the time

 on occasion, and in a considered way

 

Do you feel that you are, most of the time:

 seriously deficient in money?

 getting by, financially?

 comfortably well off?

 desiring a continuously better standard of living and degree of luxury?

 not too bothered by the question of money and material wellbeing?

 

Do you:

 have close relationships with family members and see them often?

 have a close circle of friends?

 get on well with other people?

 spend a lot of your time on your own, by choice?

 feel isolated or lonely?

 

When you encounter serious difficulties with another person, do you generally:

 try to talk to them, to see how the problem can be resolved?

 reckon it’s their fault, so why should you do anything about it?

 fret about it, but not be able to take any action?

 end the relationship?

 

Do you consider yourself generally:

 a forgiving person?

 someone who bears a grudge?

 variable between the two, according to circumstances and how you’re feeling?

 

Do you find that you:

 would like to discover a occupation or type of work that is satisfying to you, but don’t know what it is?

 want to achieve a certain career path, but haven’t been able to?

 do work or activities that you love or get satisfaction from?

 aren’t bothered about this either way?

 

Do you spend much time:

 doing a creative activity?

 pursuing a hobby or interest, or something you just love doing?

 learn something new?

 

Do you take care with your:

 diet, eating patterns and food quality?

 physical activities and exercise?

 lifestyle as it affects your health and wellbeing?

 

Is there anything else that hasn’t been listed in this questionnaire, but which you think may have an important bearing on your happiness and sense of how well your life is working? If so, list additional points here:







 

On completing the questionnaire…

Having answered the individual questions questionnaire, you may like to take a moment to reflect on the overall picture which they present. Here are some questions which it will be helpful to ask yourself at this point:

• Have you become more aware of the importance of something that you hadn’t given much thought to up to now?
• Do any prevailing themes emerge? Are there any special areas of life that seem to stand out for you, such as social life and relationships, career and work satisfaction, money and material welfare, health and wellbeing, or what you’re here on the planet to do?
• What could be some of the key issues which might be impeding your happiness?
• Are you aware of elements which your life as you are currently living it might be missing, and which you would like to bring in? What would it be helpful to have a bit more of?
• Are there factors in your life which are getting in the way of your happiness, and which you could either remove or prevent yourself being affected by? What might be helpful to let go of or have a bit less of?
• Are there some points about which you now think: this is something which I really want to make a higher priority than I have up to now, and which I am now ready to take steps and do something about?